When all is said and done

this is a hard post for me to write and a little heavy- just a warning, but something i think i have to put in writing for myself. there is a song downloaded to the left of this post, i am not into playlists so there is just this song for this purpose. read this and then play the song.

For some unknown reason since we have  moved to Hawaii we have had our share of losses of friends to death. For a long time, although devastating, i felt that i learned a lot through these losses and gained spiritual insight that i wouldn't have had otherwise, i was blessed to serve through these trials. although i can't ever know the true pain that these friends have gone through it was painful for me to lose these people and to see my friends, their loved ones suffering so much. I accepted these deaths knowing there was a greater plan. On Mon. someone else that we know passed away. Les was a very good friend to Jon Mozo(and nikki) who we lost 3 yrs. ago in a similar way, gone, in 1 second gone, no warning, no goodbyes, or things you wanted to say which is the same way all of these friends who have passed away have gone. i guess this week after Les's death it has hurt me in a way i didn't expect. 4 little children lost their father, Mary lost her husband and i have seen first hand how difficult this is to endure and i will admit i have questions, not easy ones but mainly why, why does Heavenly Father have to take young fathers, and in an instant, i would never wish a disease on any one but like the guy from the" last lecture" (Randy Pausch) these people will never make videos or write letters for their children to read as they get older. Today was their day, no going back and making things right, no repenting of sins, no i'll do better tommorow, not that any of these people needed to do this and maybe that is why they are chosen. slowly as the week has  progressed i have felt my faith rise to the top and over and over this song has played in my car and in my mind. i guess for myself this is all i need to know, when all is said and done can i sit at the saviors feet and hear him say Well Done when he sees who i've become. i am still sad, and feel so much grief for Mary, for Kelly, Yasmin and of course for Nikki and others, but i do not know what Heavenly Father's complete plan is i just have to accept that now because of his atoning sacrifice and his love. (the raincoat is in the bag, thanks Quinn) Play this song and listen to the words and i hope that it means something to you to live your life to please our Father in Heaven and do the best we can each day to love, live and appreciate all we have. (it might take just a second for the song to show up, just press the play circle when you see it)