the bitter and the sweet

the past week - 10 days has been full of conflicting feelings. i guess that's life.

we got 2 new kids in preschool and one has proven to be more than a challenge. by the time i go and do my cafe duty i go home in a ball of stress. one day was particularly bad and i was just spent. but along the way there have been these little moments that have balanced everything out.

i went to lunch and my previous 1st grade class could hardly contain themselves " did you check your mailbox, did you get our cards?!" i told them i would check and after lunch went straight to my mailbox. in it was an envelope full of cards from the kids about how they miss me, thank you for helping them or specific things i did for them. one said "ms. cale, i hop yoe oer erit" some of them are still spelling phoenetically... ms. kelly, i hope you are alright! i was so touched, i really loved the kids and the teacher i worked with.

back in preschool a student was having a meltdown and as i was trying to calm him my sister called with the news that 5 eggs were fertlized. that is big news and another step towards a baby.

on fri. there were 2 embroy's implanted and we continue to pray that at least one will progress to a viable pregnancy. 2 weeks to wait and pray some more.

kiley has been so so so sick with this pregnancy but is getting so much better. we are so happy. it is hard to see her not be able to eat and to not be gaining one oz. but hopefully she is on her way.

last sunday we went to see our friend curt. he has been very very sick for months and months without a diagnosis or relief of pain. it was hard to sit on his bed with him and see him tremor in his arm and leg to see the pain on his face but a blessing to sit and listen to him be given a blessing and prayer for relief and a diagnosis.

this past week he went back to the E.R. when his legs would not work. a dr. there that had not seen him before listened and did test that had never been given to him before. they found that there were blood clots in his lungs and that he has a blood disease but both can be treated and he is feeling better already even though he has had to be in the hospital all week.

all of this has made my heart full. we struggle through life sometimes with questions and uncertainties but Heavenly Father is there, listening if we will but come to him. he will answer. it might not be the answer we want but he knows the bigger plan.

in r.s. (women's group) the teacher mentioned about how she knew someone who believed the gospel and all it had to offer but had a very hard time living it, then there was mother theresa who lived the gospel completely but had a hard time sometimes really believing it feeling at times like she had been abandoned by God. our goal in life is to have these two merge, to believe it and to live it. sometimes this is hard but i believe God is merciful and shows us good things in life if we will just look and see them.

i know this was a long post but it's been a long week and i have had so many feelings that i just wanted to write them down.

we are off to utah this week to see my 19 yr. old boy. his birthday was sat. and i am excited to go see him and my good friends and family!