lessons to learn

O.K. it is really starting to set in that caleb is leaving next year, i think even he is realizing it.

there are some things he really needs to learn before going to school:

first he really needs to learn how to use his debit card. he has had it since this summer and has been overdrawn 3 times. you would think that the card would be declined but it always takes it and he is charged 26$ .the problem is he checks the atm and if it says he has 5$ he will go spend 3 or 4$ that probably wasn't really even there. so he got a long lecture yesterday about keeping 25$ in your account and balancing your purchases not relying on the atm or online.

second he has to get up. i am still waking him at up at 17 years old. teenagers sleep that's what they do but he has got to learn to get up. i am sure he won't be scheduling classes at 6:30 a.m. which is when seminary starts but still- get up!!

third he needs to learn how to take a regular -say 15 min. shower. when i get him up in the morning he takes a 25-30 min HOT shower. his roomates are going to love their cold showers and hopefully break him of this habit. he also uses 2 towels every time, one for his body and one for his hair, and they are new every time! he will quickly learn those dollars for the washer and dryer go fast!

fourth he needs to learn how to use his money wisely. he has a pretty cush life especially being the only child at home, the baby, and a clothes horse so he has some learning to do about scrimping at college. he does have one thing going for him he loves the salvation army and savers and is so excited to get to DI (utah's form of goodwill) to check it out. caleb had no gas and i told him to take the recycling which we do both for the earth and for caleb's pocket money. he went and took it, got some money and went straight to salvation army where he proudly brought home several plaid shirts and some vests! i told him good luck with your gas! which of course i bought for him later (could that be part of the problem?!) .

we never had any of this with kiley, she was so independent and responsible, can you say B.O.Y?

there are several others such as food, entertaining yourself with no money, being happy on sunday just being at home enjoying the day, and probably a few more but for now these are the lessons he really needs to learn!

Mothering

i have expressed a little bit how caleb frustrates me, let me say this, he is a good kid, he comes home by curfew, does chores when asked is respectful to both matt and i and doesn't do anything "bad". it is just hard because he never shares anything with me and just acts so much like a self absorbed teenager. today i kind of had a moment. i got to take my friend marj's new baby to relief society with me while she was teaching in young womens. he is so cute and i just got to snuggle and hold him for most of the hour when he wasn't sleeping in his car seat. everyone was making comments about how big he is, he is a big boy, how cute he is and that i was watching him. then one women said " your mothering instincts are still going strong!" i think it hit me then that that is true. i still want to baby, i want to mother and i have a 17 year old teenage boy that does not want to be "mothered". i think it helped me a little bit to understand i have to let go of my expectations a little. he's not kiley and never will be. he is definitely his own person. it's just hard i see mothers with their sons and i know it is not all boys who are like that so i think that is where i feel the hurt or jealousy.
I know that today he had a lesson in Young Men's about mothers, he came home a little softer and nicer i am hoping something struck a cord with him to be appreciative of his mother. i appreciate all the comments i got the last time i posted about caleb, i know he is a good kid and hopefully it's just a phase.