i have expressed a little bit how caleb frustrates me, let me say this, he is a good kid, he comes home by curfew, does chores when asked is respectful to both matt and i and doesn't do anything "bad". it is just hard because he never shares anything with me and just acts so much like a self absorbed teenager. today i kind of had a moment. i got to take my friend marj's new baby to relief society with me while she was teaching in young womens. he is so cute and i just got to snuggle and hold him for most of the hour when he wasn't sleeping in his car seat. everyone was making comments about how big he is, he is a big boy, how cute he is and that i was watching him. then one women said " your mothering instincts are still going strong!" i think it hit me then that that is true. i still want to baby, i want to mother and i have a 17 year old teenage boy that does not want to be "mothered". i think it helped me a little bit to understand i have to let go of my expectations a little. he's not kiley and never will be. he is definitely his own person. it's just hard i see mothers with their sons and i know it is not all boys who are like that so i think that is where i feel the hurt or jealousy.
I know that today he had a lesson in Young Men's about mothers, he came home a little softer and nicer i am hoping something struck a cord with him to be appreciative of his mother. i appreciate all the comments i got the last time i posted about caleb, i know he is a good kid and hopefully it's just a phase.
2014 so far...
11 years ago
5 comments:
I have a brother like that. he is 16 (so he might be the same age as caleb?) He is a good kid but my mom is lucky if she gets more than two words out of him when talking to him. I worked at his school for a little while and it was amazing to see how social and talkative he was with his peers. It helped me to see another side of him and that was really nice. not sure what the point of that comment was. oh well.
I can see differences in Brian and his brothers this way too. When Brian and I were dating, he was all hush hush about it, and I know his mom felt out of the loop and got information about us through my friends mom (it's a long story).
But Brian's middle brother talks to his mom about just about anything, and then the youngest brother is even worse than Brian was (but I've heard that Brian was a lot like Paul pre-mission and pre-marriage). So, according to Brian's mom, Brian's transformation from annoying teenager to today is proof that there is still hope for a better relationship, you just have to hang in there. I hope this makes sense because I can barely follow along, but I think you're right, it's probably a phase.
Tidbit about Brian: in HS he came home with a magnetic earring, and I guess his parents decided since it was magnetic they didn't make a huge deal about it-pick your battles right? Then one day they noticed he had switched it out for a real one. They were not happy. This was when he had long hair too. Does that sound like the Brian you know?
Hope that made you smile-I miss you!
hey kelly,
i dont know if im one who can give the right kind of advice that you need, or the perfect words of wisdom. im only 23 yrs. old, and have two little ones, girl, and boy, and you know how young they are. i have no teenage kids to worry about. . .yet, but i just wanted to say this. i havent known you for a very long time, and i rarely get the chance to see you, but i know that you are a wonderful mother, and im SURE that its just a phase. he's a TEENAGER! and im sure this will pass.
my brother was the same way when he was younger, but he was worse than caleb. he was a rebel. but now, he's closer to all of us than ever. he's open, he talks, we all have fun :) even him and our mother! i know easier said than done, but try not to worry. it'll be all good :)
I'm so glad that you were able to watch Noah for me and was able to have some baby time. I don't have an experience like that of yours to share, but I am always learning from others. It'll break my heart when Elijah begins to act like that but I'm hoping that he wont. When babies are born, they come with their own personality, and it's our job to get to know who they are. You are such a great mom and even though Caleb doesn't verbalize it, he loves you with all his heart.
Thank you for mothering me and my kids. You can have Noah anytime, even when Jason comes to church.
I can't imagine having to stifle the mother instict & let them grow up. I'm not looking forward to that day. Good luck to you Kelly.
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